Winter in Kentucky...what a difference a few months make

Ella

Picture of Ella stolen from Sara's Blog.

Isn't she cute?

Trying to get down to the heart of the matter... but my will gets weak, and my thoughts seem to scatter...but I think it is about forgiveness...

I have always advised Sara and Justin to listen to their heart when faced with difficult decisions. Your heart has to be your compass. Sometimes the head does not notice what needs to change, but the heart can give you the direction you need to go, as well as provide the power to change. In my case, the direction I need to go is to stop being a prisoner to disappointment, resentment and anger, which has not been healthy for me. Justin sent me a card about nine months ago in which he stated he hoped I could live more "freely" For me the heart of the matter... is a matter of the heart, and it is forgiveness. My heart has the power to forgive, which will allow me to live more freely...free of this situation and the feeling produced by it. At this point my motivation to forgive may be self preservation. Resentment and anger have kept me bound to a depressed condition, living in an emotional vacuum, with no way to get free. I have been refusing to forgive by holding on to all of the negative feelings, combined with a sense of betrayal. It has all served to make me miserable. Anger is a sign that something needs to change. Anger and depression can become habitual, and be terribly unhealthy. For the first time in my life I feel that I have more stress than I can handle. Holding on to resentment with an unforgiving attitude creates stress and keeps you from being aligned with your true self. It can block you from experiencing the joys of life. It can impact your health and your quality of life.
I am letting go of the anger, disappointment and disgust, and trusting in God to take it over. Forgiveness will release me from this situation so I can learn from it, and allow me to process my feelings more effectively. I will give this situation no more of my time. This forgiveness means that I have no expectations of the other person. It does not matter if she deserves forgiveness, or if she understands...life feeds back truth in it's own way and time... I wish her happiness.
So now emotionally I can begin to get free of this. It has been a long hard road.
A matter of the heart...forgiveness.
Thanks to family and friends who have been there through all of this. Your patience, encouragement and understanding have helped tremendously.
To a much better 2009.
To a much more positive blog in 2009.

Happy New Year

I am looking forward to 2009. I have not had a chance to update my blog. I have been sick, trying to work, and in my spare time painting a condo that I purchased to live in. I will update soon, but I have a lot of work to do in the next couple of weeks, and hope to feel better soon. Happy New Year to all.